I have been told that I have a “hot temper”. You don’t hear that term used a lot these days, what with all the so-called “experts” out there that have a pidgeon-hole definition for everything, but it is pretty accurate for me.
When I was a kid, my temper could cause the occasional “issue” for me. All the other kids, as I saw it, were out to get me. They wouldn’t let the fat kid with the thick glasses (little Scotty) play. When I was allowed to play in a neighborhood game, It always seemed to me like they only allowed me to play so they could gang up on me, talk in secret whispers to each other, belittle me rather than let me have the fun they were having. I never got invited to anything. No elementary school birthday parties. No Junior High boy/girl parties, no dances. Nothing. The "popular" kids laughed at me, in public. I suppose it made them feel powerful, more important. They called me names.
At first, I got "broken hearted", then I got angry. My parents tried really hard to teach me anger management techniques, or to turn the other cheek and ignore my tormentors. And, I really tried. But, I apparently ain't cut out to be a good Christian. Turning the other cheek just served as further amusement for my tormentors. By Junior High, there were the bullies. And the “Jocks”. Both trying to prove all the time how much better than me they were. I tried to get along and not “put these people in their place”. I remembered my Bible lessons. I would “turn the other cheek”. And they would punch me there too. Literally. It hurt, and it was embarrassing.
Here’s where the temper comes in. We all have a breaking point, and you never knew when I would reach mine. Sooner or later, all that pain (whether perceived or physical) would reach a boiling point in my mind. Any slight, or any violence, directed toward me would result in all that pent up anger being released, all at once, verbally and most probably physically. To the observer, it would look like I was a merciless bully beating the tar out of someone. In reality, they were getting the beat down they deserved. They were getting paid back for 100 punches of the past. 1000 insults.
As an adult, sorry to say, I still feel that way sometimes. I try to get along. I try to ignore the pain inflicted by others. I just tell myself nowadays they are too stupid to know what they are doing. That usually works. Usually.
Still, there are times when we have had all we can take, and at that point, we strike back. I certainly have times like that. Hopefully as adults we can strike back with lawyers, since that seems to be the method of choice to inflict maximum emotional pain for so many of the bottom feeders out there.
The sad part is, when I was a kid beating the tar out of the bully that had literally hit me 100 times with no retribution, or as an adult having to see people lie in open court to ruin the life of someone I love, If I strike back in any way, I know I'll get all of the blame. When I was a kid, the teachers at school, or the parents, were always quick to put all the blame on me. The REAL bully was always deemed completely innocent. Nothing ever changes apparently, since I see the same kind of people doing the same things today, with Lawyers instead of fists.
Nobody stopped the “better than you” cruelty when I was a kid. Nobody stops the people who lie in open court today, or abuse the system to ruin someones life simply because they can. Nobody ever tries to stop the bullies. But let me fight back, and you would think I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.
I have worked very hard all my life to control outbursts like the violent ones from my childhood. I haven’t punched another man for 30 or more years. Dealing with my temper is a life-long struggle for me, but no matter how grouchy I seem sometimes, trust me, I am winning the struggle. The struggle with physical violence that is.
On the other hand, for the kind of bully who abuses the legal system as a means to inflict cruelty, you might still just get what's coming to ya. We can get lawyers too. Nobody likes a bully. Sad that people still have to measure their self worth by how much pain they can inflict on others. I would feel sorry for ya, but if you get a can of legal whoop ass, you have it comin'. Just like that schoolyard bully. My Dad used to say, "what goes around, comes around". My daughter Laura Jean would call it Karma. Either way, You'll get yours. You took one swing too many. Scotty's comin', with a lawyer, and he's pissed.