Thoughts from yer ol’ Buddy Scotty… ( A.K.A. The Rev. Dr. S.A. Schnarr )
Today’s lesson: Passion
There is one predominant reason I see a lot of couples get together, and a lot of couples split up. At it’s simplest, I would say that reason is passion. Yep, you read right. People split up because of passion. Think about it, passion is a two-edged sword, isn’t it? People love with passion. They have, let’s say, intimate marital (or extra-marital) relations with passion too. Being part of a couple that has a passionate relationship has the potential to give us the highest, most powerful, extremely intense joy we can imagine. So much so, that for those of us who are open to a passionate relationship, many of us allow our need for that joy, that passion, drive our choice of a mate. When the passion wanes, then we tend to be tempted to look elsewhere for “new” passion, rather than rekindle that passion we already have (which is another cause for divorces, but not my point today)….Passion….back to the nature of passion…..
I freely admit to being a passionate soul. It’s more than a conscious decision for me, it’s in my nature. It’s who I am. I have struggled with anger management issues more than most. I am more intensely loyal than most. And I feel like I love deeper than most. I can’t help it. Then again, if you love someone so much it hurts, at some point, the hurt becomes the bad sort of hurt. The tough part is dealing with that “bad” hurt, getting through it.
Thing is, passion, as I said, is a double edged sword. Passion can also be hatred, anger, depression, heartbreak, can’t it? It can. Because you opened your heart to the potential for extremely passionate relationships, to embrace the unequalled joy that they can provide, you must also be open to the potential for lows that are every bit as mercurial as the highs. In other words, the person who brings the heights of passion to your heart, is also the person who can most easily break your heart. Once you turn on the passion faucet, so to speak, the only way to get the passionate highs, is to be open to the passionate lows as well. If you shut yourself off to one, you shut yourself off to the other…..
Younger couples tend to be passionate, right? Hormones. Inexperience. Eventually, as we mature in our relationships, we all begin to experience the lows that go along with the passionate highs, and adjust how we deal with it. Sooner or later, somebody cheats, somebody lies, somebody starts wanting to hang out with their friends more often than their spouse, somebody wants to get physical more or less often than their spouse. Whatever….. Eventually the giant helium balloon of life that was filled with, and floating on, the power of passion, gets a big ol’ hole popped in it, and you come crashing down to earth in a big hurry. It’s what you do from there that marks the course of your life.
Some people choose to callous their soul, put up walls, keep their guard up, whatever convenient cop-out of a metaphor they can think up. Those people, while they stand less of a chance of being hurt again, also stand less of a chance of ever falling deeply, passionately in love again. They certainly lose out on the opportunity to regain or experience the passion in their current relationship. No “bad” passion is also no “good” passion, can’t have one without the other.
That’s where we come to the crossroads. Getting through it. Weighing it out. The emotional pain you feel when you are hurt by someone you feel passionately about is extreme, and I know firsthand, that it can feel like the most painful emotional experience you’ll ever know. So, many of us decide to guard ourselves from pain like that in the future. In doing so, we also guard ourselves from the joy of the passionate highs. Then, there are those of us that continue to be open to the experiences life has to offer, with all the highs, and lows. That’s where the weighing it out comes in. If we want to stay open to the potential for the highest highs of a passionate relationship, we need to stick with it for a while, and weigh it out. Are the lows worth the highs? Are there more lows than highs? Is the pleasure worth the pain?
For me, it is. Always will be.
Think about it…and dig it, take it to heart….cause you know…..If you got it from yer ol’ buddy, the Rev. Dr. Scotty…. It must be the truth!